To Farm or Not to Farm?

So many people have asked me before why I just don't start my own farm.  "Because it's too much work," I say.  If I did have my own farm, I would feel like I had no options.  I think that's the 26 year old talking in me - I'm not ready for permanent yet.  But there comes a time when you think, "Well, if I had my own farm, I wouldn't have to deal with X, Y, or Z.  Or A, or B, or C."

The future of my job is a little up in the air right now.  The CEO wants change - except he wants change right this minute.  This all started with the chickens (remember, the whole thing about the previous herdsperson not vaccinating them that led to Lakes and I killing 200 birds?)  Well, now all he is seeing is dollar signs.  Which is fine, except he is JUST now seeing dollar signs.  Where were those bubbles of signs floating when he created this place?  Long story short: the farm has never, ever, had a budget.  The farmers has never, ever, had to think money was an issue.  You fill out a purchase order, give it to the CEO, who approves it.  And he always approves it.  So how are we suppose to know anything?  He didn't want us to know anything.  And now we are all a little frightened of losing our jobs.

Hhhmm, I left one farm because there wasn't anyone making decisions.  Now I came to the farm where there is to many decisions by the wrong people...

But, to be honest, I'm not worried about myself.  I have a nice emergency fund in case I get the boot.  And I have some ideas of back up plans.  I really feel like the world is my oyster.  Continue farming.  Going to nursing school.  I'm so excited about the possibilities.

The dilemma I'm facing is whether to fight or to just move on.  At my old farm, I spent so much time fighting.  It's why I left, because there wasn't going to be any change.  And now I'm facing the same situation where I know there is not going to be any change (or at least I think so). And I don't think my heart is in it to fight.  I have learned so much here, and really feel like we could turn it into a fantastic program.  But the mission and vision is are not lining up.  We are suppose to raise healthy food for the residents, so their actual problems can be isolated and worked with without the side affects of a poor diet.  So if that's the goal, the mission, the vision, what can we do to keep it going?  Do we have to meet 100% needs?  Can we focus in one area - milk? Beef? Pork?  Can we sell our meat to increase our revenue? Or, can we make it a theraputic program, where the program is more dependent on resident involvement?  Because lets face it, it's not just about the food.  It's about the experiences, the changes the residents have gone through because they get to collect eggs, they get to feed the pigs.  They love it!  So, what are we doing here?

I have been asking myself that same question for the past couple of months.  What am I doing here?  I came here to get more experience as a manager.  And I have learned so much.  I just need to figure out if this is still the right place for me...

If anyone wants to tell me what to do, please, feel free.