Whirl Wind

Whirl Wind.  That's how I'm describing the past 3 days.  I had very, very dear friends of mine come down on Saturday, ran in a race (got third place out of all the women, I think there was 10 or so), went apple picking, hung out in New Paltz.  Then a last minute change of plans led me to see the following:

 My beautiful cat Bravo, who slept by my side all night while I stayed at my old house, Avalon.

 This GORGEOUS sunrise on I-90 heading to Vermont for a chicken workshop.

 The wonderful Vermont landscape, which made me itch to go back to there.

 And my mom, who made this very impressive Christmas ornament made out of paper.

Venturing back to MA and Vermont, and driving for more than 10 hours in 2 days (and putting 600 miles on my car) allowed some thinking time.  Mostly about my past.  Seeing my friends and being back in MA made me miss MA.  But, I'm not very happy with myself and the last few months there.  I was very unhappy, and started analyzing myself and how I handled everything.  As my mom calls it, I was "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" myself - I was telling myself if I did x,y and z instead, I would have been happier.  If I just sucked it up, let it go, I could still be there with my dear friends and milking cows.  Then I went to VT and starting thinking that I should be back there.  It left me with mixed emotions by the time I got home.

Then I got home, to NY, and felt better when I walked into my apartment.  I started to think about how much I love my job.  Yes, I wish I was as happy as I am now when I was in MA, but then I found this quote and it's perfect:

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

No matter what happened - the frustration with my job, the heartbreak of a relationship, and what has been bothering me the most - how I was so angry, sad, and how I wore it on my sleeve and had no control over them (no matter how hard I tried), it all brought me here.  I'm taking me-time, the time I never could figure out among everything that was the World of Gould.  I had to leave, VT once upon a time, and MA next, to learn how to be comfortable with myself, how to handle situations that make me angry or sad, how to not depend on everyone around me for happiness.  I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be.  

Here's the weekly picture of the the foliage!  It's changing!