Learning to Understand

Addiction.  I'm having a terrible time understanding it and understanding the people with addiction.  Many residents at the Ranch have a substance abuse problem, whether its drugs or alcohol.  After multiple relapses in the community this past week, I'm fully admitting that I am becoming so frustrated and defeated by addiction.  

I can (and probably have) complain about it.  How am I suppose to help people who don't want to be helped?  How can I help people who over and over again take advantage of the staff who are trying to help?  All this makes me think more about how I prefer prevention rather than intervention.  What happens if these young adults had the support they needed when they were children - would they be where they are today?

It's a struggle.  And I loose my patience which doesn't feel very good either.  I suppose in a way it makes the whole thing kind of worse, because it allows the addict to believe that they are once again the victim.  But I am a human being too.  I want to tell them all, "You are hurting me just as much as you believe I am hurting you."  Do you think it would be wrong to say that sometime?

It's times like these I miss it just being me and my animals:  an early morning milking, collecting eggs from laying hens, a walk through the quiet woods with Ava.  In the mean time all I can tell myself that I need to have faith; that I have a purpose and my life is on track.