Confessions of a Theraputic Farmer, III

Sometimes I just get so frustrated with my job (be warned - I plan on venting here).  All week I had to listen to one of my residents complain about how inefficient the Ranch is.  Today I kind of lost it on him.  I don't think what I did was inappropriate, but it wasn't perfect.  We were labeling bags of wool with our name on it for sending it off to the spinnery Monday.  The only roll of tape I could find took me 10 minutes to find and it was the last 15 minutes of crew.  There were four of us, so yes, it wasn't efficient.  And it's not like I didn't try to make it more efficient.  But I could have been spending 20 more minutes looking for a freakin' roll of tape!  

Anyway, he kept complaining about how inefficient the process was, blah blah blah.  I tried to explain how I tried to find tape but couldn't, how this was just a project to get us to the end of crew and that it didn't need to be about efficiency.  But he wouldn't stop.  So I said, "You know, why don't you three finish up from here.  I'm going to call it a day."  I tossed them the roll of tape and marker and left.  Was it perfect?  No way.  Was it inappropriate?  I don't think so.  I feel a little bad, but sometimes actions are louder than words.  When they criticize the process, they criticize me.  I have been struggling for weeks on how to make this a better, stronger program for residents.  Hearing this does not help, and yes, it hurts my feelings.  I will express all this to the resident tomorrow and hopes he understands...

This is the challenge I have with what we do, with what I'm suppose to do.  I can't help but compare the Ranch to the Farm.  Maybe if we had more production, it would give the residents more of a feeling of a job, that they have expectations that they have to meet.  This is where I think the Farm is stronger.  There are more opportunities for ownership to be taken.  But, where it falls short is that (especially on the Farm Team at the Farm) is that there is too much production and in the end the staff have to add it to their work day, creating an imbalance and unfairness among the staff.  I know that the Ranch is not 100% efficient, just like the Farm isn't.  And the idea behind what we do is about creating a safe place for people, having them slowly figure out what they need to get back on their feet.  I have a little feeling that the work program at the Ranch is more to give people something to do versus gives them something to take ownership of.  Hhhmm, that's an interesting thought.  The Ranch has a  lot more to offer when it comes to therapies - AA, Dual Diagnosis, Humans Anonymous, Hearing Voices, yoga, meditation.  There are activities every weekend.  But at the Farm residents cook meals for the community, they bake for the retail bakery, they are in charge of the pig chores, they run a CSA, they work at a restaurant.  Both programs offer a lot, but I believe that's where my frustrations lie.  How can the work program be used in such a way that the residents feel that they are contributing to the community and therefore themselves?  How can get them out of their inner struggles into reality? 

I'm back at my struggle of how to make the work program more work than busy work.  Don't get me wrong, work is work on the farm, and it all has to get done.  But to the residents it seems like busy work.  How can I teach that it's not?