Confessions of a Theraputic Farmer, IV

Sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference in someone's day.  I have one resident on my crew who has not lifted a finger in years.  Getting through a day has been very difficult for her - her physical stamina just can't handle it, then emotionally she starts to judge herself because she's not meeting these expectations. But she also falls back on being weak because it's easier than working and facing her issues.  So Friday we were working in one of our pastures that's being taken over by thistles.  I mean these things are two and a half, three feet high.  The cows will not even go near them leaving a good foot diameter of good grass uneaten.  We drove out into the field and the resident and I were talking about music.  Instead of shutting the truck off and listening to silence, I left the truck on and the radio turned up so we could all enjoy it.  The resident was so happy.  She kept saying, "Angie, thank you so much.  Having the music is making all the difference."  She ended up working the entire day, her first full day in the two weeks she has been here.

Sometimes you just have to meet someone half way.  

In other news, I had a nice breakfast with the E.D of the Ranch this morning.  We were talking about work program, and it was refreshing to hear his support on growth of the program.  I brought up dairy and honey bees, and he was very excited about it.  Obviously it wasn't anything formal, but he said, "We need to grow our work program again.  Our residents use to build houses.  We can't do that now necessarily because of insurance, but if we can grow and our insurance covers it, then by all means we should do it."  I told him it was very refreshing to hear that from him.  And has got me excited.  I know, the last entry was me trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing with life.  But I've decided (as of last night) I need to just focus on the present.  Until I actually know I have to move on I'll stay.  There is a difference between the feeling of having to do something and wanting to do something.  Everything I feel right now is want, not have.  And it's exhausting.  So here begins the practice of sitting, the practice of acknowledging my feelings of wants, and waiting to see if they turn into haves.